What are Mormons to do now that same-sex marriage is the law of the land?

What are faithful Latter-day Saints supposed to do about the Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage? Nothing. Okay I shouldn’t say nothing, obviously it’s a signal that we live in the last days and that Jesus Christ is coming soon, so we should watch and prepare for all that. But on a practical level, since we are no longer voting or advocating because the decision has been made, what is left for us to do now is to be kind and loving neighbors.

Yet it seems to me that Latter Day Saints are caught between two extremes: on the one hand they feel, in the name of love, to completely embrace the choices and lifestyle of homosexuality. (This is evidenced by the many active members of the Church I’ve seen with a rainbow overlay on their facebook profile picture, for example). On the other hand there are those members of the church who want to sustain the Lord and His prophets, but who come across as mean, hateful and exclusionary doing so.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said this in April Conference,

“President Gordon B. Hinckley… told a BYU audience about political commentators “aflame with indignation” at a then-recent news event. “With studied art they poured out the sour vinegar of invective and anger. … Surely,” he concluded, “this is the age and place of the gifted pickle sucker.”1 In contrast, to be securely rooted in the gospel, we must be moderate and measured in criticism and seek always for the broader view of the majestic work of God.”

As Latter Day Saints we can choose a middle road. We can be tolerant and loving of our friends and neighbors who choose the homosexual lifestyle, while at the same time maintain a consistent loyalty to the Lord and His definition of marriage between a man and a woman. See the letter issued by the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve this week.

Let me use an example to illustrate. As Latter Day Saints we have the Lord’s word of wisdom wherein we do not smoke or drink. I think many of us with young children have had this experience where they witnessed somebody smoking and say (often loudly) something like “he’s a bad person for smoking!” To which you explain (hopefully) that just because somebody has chosen to smoke doesn’t mean they necessarily are a bad person. In saying this we are not advocating that smoking is okay. Nor do we need to worry that our children will become smokers. All we have done is separated the action from the person (who, by the way, God loves just as much as He loves you.)

And so it is with a person who has chosen a gay lifestyle. We can wish them the best as they try to live in a way they feel will make them most happy. But if the right opportunity to share the gospel comes up, we can be firm and clear about the doctrine of marriage between a man and a woman and Heavenly Father’s plan of salvation.

I have appreciated the experience shared with me recently by one of my close friends. He works with several people who are openly gay, and has always tried to be good friends with everyone. One day, one of these co-workers came to him very confused. “I just found out you are a Mormon” he said. “Yup I am” was my friend’s response. “So you must not be a very good one then?” asked the co-worker. “I don’t know about that, but I try and am very active in my Church” was his response. “Then I don’t get it. I’m gay, and when I married my partner you sent me a card. You’ve always been nice and accepting to me, but I thought Mormon’s hated gay people.” I love my friend’s response: “If you are asking about what I believe then here it is; I believe in a God who loves us and wants us to become like Him and to be happy. Getting married and having a family is central to how we can do that. He has defined marriage as being between a man and a woman. That’s my belief about marriage. But I also know that God loves you as much as He loves me, and that’s good enough for me to love you too. So I will always try to treat you as well as I know how.”

Obviously that conversation is paraphrased and second hand, but that was the gist. It’s how I feel about it. My relationship with others does not have to be defined by their sexuality. That has nothing to do with me. I stood with prophets when the issue was on the ballot. I teach the truth whenever it’s appropriate. And I love my neighbor as myself. I will not encourage a person who struggles with same gender attraction to give in and live the lifestyle because I do not believe that will bring them a fulness of happiness. But, if my gay neighbor’s marriage were in trouble, and he asked me for advice, I think I’m going to give him the best advice I can to help him.

It’s possible that no other time in the history of our word has demanded people to be more thoughtful and discerning about tough issues as our time. My hope is that we pass this test.

Note: As always, I do not represent the Church and am solely responsible for this message

Doctrines vs. Policies

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is an easy target for attack because of our claim of living prophets. As the Savior said anciently:

“…ye build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous, and say, If we had been in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets…I send unto you prophets, and wise men, and scribes: and some of them ye shall kill and crucify; and some of them shall ye scourge in your synagogues, and persecute them from city to city”. (Matthew 23:29-34)

Fortunately, we live in a day where murdering a prophet is difficult to get away with. But the attempted silencing of prophets is alive and well. There are several strategies of the Adversary to accomplish this end. Prophets can be discounted in the minds of some people by character attacks, misrepresenting their message, or conspiracy theory (among other things).

Within the membership of the church, Satan seems intent to get people to question prophets any way he can. I’ve noticed that one way he seeks to accomplish this is by confusing doctrine with policy. A doctrine is an eternal, unchanging truth. A policy is an official application of doctrine. Elder Dallin H Oaks (a prophet and apostle of Jesus Christ) explained how those who preside are given keys to direct policy and administration, but only the Lord can reveal new doctrine.

A common example of this confusion was with the priesthood restriction on black members of the church that ended in 1978. (A great explanation of this policy can be read here.) This is often misunderstood as a doctrinal change, when it was, in fact, a policy change. It was never taught by a leader of the Church that this restriction was eternal. There were plenty of opinions and attempted doctrinal explanations offered (none of which were authoritative), but it was always understood that “the long promised day” would come when all worthy males could hold the priesthood.

This misapplication then leads some to conclude that a seemingly similar change could happen with same sex marriage or women ordination to the priesthood. Since both of these changes wouldn’t just be policy changes, but would in fact be doctrinal changes, they run contrary to the eternal nature of doctrine. A man has always been meant to marry a woman. Men and women have always had different roles to play in the plan of salvation. Both of these doctrines are clearly taught in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World“, a document that was set forth by the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (whose unity in this document fulfills the scriptural requirement of establishing doctrine. See D&C 107:27. See also 27:2, 7).

There is no long promised day in either of these instances. That’s not to say we have everything revealed on these subjects, as I’m convinced we have much more to understand about both. But the foundational direction is set, and it will not be moved. Unfortunately, I see members of the church who look sideways at any prophetic teaching that runs counter to their personal, political, or societal philosophy. They conclude, “oh this is just like blacks and the priesthood, just wait and they’ll come around.” According to a revelation given the day the church was organized, this is a dangerous mindset.

“Wherefore, meaning the church, thou shalt give heed unto all his words and commandments which he shall give unto you as he receiveth them, walking in all holiness before me;
For his word ye shall receive, as if from mine own mouth, in all patience and faith.
For by doing these things the gates of hell shall not prevail against you; yea, and the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory.”
(D&C 21:4-6)

It is my hope that the honest in heart will not be deceived by these snares of Satan. We live in a day of living prophets. If scriptural history teaches us anything, it is that following prophets has always been the test of faithfulness.

An average Mormon guy’s perspective on homosexuality

So this subject has been on my mind for years, and I’ve wanted to write on it, but then it got all heated with what happened in December in Utah and I’ve been hesitant to write on a sensitive topic during a sensitive time. My goal with this blog is not to have debate, or to get controversial. But my goal is to offer an average Mormon perspective on all sorts of things. As with all my other posts, I do not represent the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I’m fully responsible for these thoughts.

The doctrinal premise for the way Latter-day Saints view same sex marriage involves a plan God has for our salvation. We believe that we lived before we were born. In this premortal life we lived with God who is our Father, and He taught us all about who He was, and who we were, and who we could become. We had the same gender there as we do here. We have unique rolls and responsibilities based on our gender. He taught us His plan which would require us to come into a mortal test where we learn by our experience the good from the evil. Here we must walk by faith, and deal with our fallen condition. Here we would prove by our choices whether we want and can handle the fullness of what God is willing to give us.

Then we were born. Because of the fall of Adam and Eve, our condition is fallen as well. This doesn’t mean that we were born sinful, we do not believe in original sin. But we were born carnal, sensual, and devilish- although innocent for the first years of life. Satan is not allowed to tempt us for our first 8 years but we are still left to deal with our fallen nature. As we grow in accountability, we will sin. We will yield to temptation in varying degrees and severity. We all have tendencies and weakness that can only be overcome in and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

If we endure to the end of our life, relying on the Atonement of Jesus Christ and participating in the covenants and ordinances of His gospel (or for those without a full knowledge of Christ’s gospel- living a good, honorable life, and accepting the gospel in its fullness in the spirit world) then we will overcome our fallen condition. Then we can inherit our full potential as sons and daughters of God. This includes an eternal marriage of husband and wife which extends beyond this life.

With this doctrinal foundation laid, I can now talk about same gender attraction. In our premortal condition there was no homosexuality. Coming into this fallen world produces all kinds of conditions. Whether a person is “born that way” or not misses the point. We are all born fallen. Our mortal test is whether we will rely wholly on the Savior, and accept His gospel. I understand that for a person with same gender attraction, this is a severe test indeed. But there is hope. There is a plan. There is always a choice. All the blessings of the gospel are available to them. But God’s laws are unalterable, and “wickedness never was happiness.”

Where does that leave faithful Mormon’s? Honestly I think it’s good that we struggle with our feelings on this issue. Extremes in either direction are inappropriate, whether that be permissive Mormon’s fully embracing the redefinition of marriage in the name of equality, or mean Mormon’s viciously attacking or dismissing those with same gender attraction as lost souls on their way to hell.

I feel we should love as much as possible. We should want to accept as much of these people as we can without accepting a homosexual lifestyle. We should be kind and attempt to understand what they’re going through. I think our hearts should break over the way we must vote on same sex marriage because we truly love these people. But we should stand with the Lord, and with the Apostles that represent Him on Earth by loving these people enough to stand by truth. We should try to explain that truth by what has been revealed to prophets and leave alone the cultural speculations which are not part of the church’s doctrine. We should trust God and His plan.